Bringing me back to my knees.

Lost for the words to say, left here in disarray, waiting for you, waiting on truth.

Throw reason overboard, knowing that there's still more, I don't yet believe I can't yet perceive -

I can't seem to understand, can't seem to find my way, it's over my head, it's over my head.

To the sunsets we grew up in,

to the familiar beating of the warm, brilliant, and underwater heart of Shuswap, to the feeling of alive,

I miss you.

One month to go.

I wonder if I'll always have people who I wish read my blog.

(Even when I'm blogger-famous ;)

Who I want to see my thoughts but am too afraid to tell them to their faces, or something like that.

Or people who I wish cared - as if that would entail them reading me. And it would confirm their care.

Maybe I'm messed up.