science and progress, do not speak as loud as my heart.

so.. i'm not super sure if i like this layout. i spent like, an hour changing little things and i still dont know if i like the background at all.
blogger html is harder than xanga though. bleh.

and now for the long overdue entry..
...i've been posting pretty words all week because its how i feel, in a few sentences.

im listening to white lines and red lights by Between the Trees right now... off my summer 08 soundtrack.
i think i've been listening to my summer 08 soundtrack too much lately, because all i want is summer to match the soundtrack.

i wish i didnt regret so much of last summer though. i remember waking up numerous mornings and dragging myself up the cottage-basement stairs, wishing i could tear my heart out in order to relieve myself and then feeling worse because i was so guilty for being miserable when the sun was shining.. and not only that, i was living in one of the most beautiful areas of the province, with the option of swimming, sailing, wakeboarding, kayaking, walking along the beach, flirting with dock boys, taking the boat down the lake for awhile.. ah.
i knew i would regret it.
i'm so dumb.

this summer. that is not happening. NOT HAPPENING.
i love all that stuff. but misery is toxin.

anyway. that was fairly tangent-esque.

we went for a chilly walk to G&A the other day for the sake of reminiscing/getting excited about summer, and some Arizonas. i'm glad i'm not the only one.. that there are some boys that are as excited as me to walk around outside at night in shorts.