My thoughts all quit, thought about too much allowed them to touch the feelings that rained down

Why. Why?
Sometimes, I can't.. Make myself ignore the question. Sometimes the hurt surfaces, and sometimes, gaurds are let down just for them to be put back again.
What it boils down to is, I can't trust. Well, I can trust the lord, and I can trust the matress I'm sitting on has coils in it, but I cannot trust people. I can't trust and I can't lie so I don't talk.
And everyone wants to sound smart but I want the truth.
I want to know what to do to get where I need to be, and I'm tired of just thinking and thinking and never figuring anything out and never DOING anything.