but I swore I was fine.

It's gray and orange out.

I apologize for all of this emphasis on the weather, but without fail the colours outside are the feelings in me.

I'm hauling out the child I was, attempting to find a canvas and paintbrushes right now. It comes to me like it was worlds ago.

I know that at some point I'm going to look back on this year and it will feel worlds away,

but is it okay that it feels like that already?

Only the weather makes me believe I'm here right now.