Let it be.

It's taken this long to get to a point where my computer loads blogger.

I was going to say that I had been thinking a lot recently... and then I realized I always think a lot, but this is good thinking.

I came to somewhat of a resolution for the questioning my prof encouraged of me last week (this post). It came somewhere between my class this week and church yesterday - faith is for crazy people. Unfortunately the thing about the paradox of the creation of the universe (and other things) proposed by my professor is that it forces you to live in the tension of not having sufficient knowledge or capacity for understanding, and hope that one day they'll hit the god-particle or come up with the solution, with just the right perspective. I can not sit in this existence for the rest of my life, though I guess some people seem to be alright with it. They can call themselves philosophers and grow ridiculous facial hair if that's what they really want.

Technically, it is not rational to believe in something you can't prove to exist with science, I guess. But, you can't tell me that my belief is just my way of coping with the limits of being human. And you have to know the story before you discount it as true, which my prof doesn't seem to.

For the idea I couldn't work through last week to be sound, there can't be any way around the paradox of the universe. I'll spell it out - if everything that is came to be was caused by something else, the present would have to be a result of the past. You were born, so now you're sitting here 18 years later, it rained, you got wet. In this case, if the earth was not created, because it certainly didn't just appear out of nowhere, it would not exist. But where did the world come from, if no one created it? If there is no way it could have been created, because everything is caused by something else...

Good thing God happens to be infinite, not within time and space, creator of the world, separator of light and darkness.

Not to mention, most of the people in my class don't seem to be interested in questioning the ideas brought up... Weird.

On another note, I need some canvas... even if I am a lousy painter. pencil sketching is driving me almost nuts. This is going to be a brilliant semester of becoming a better artist.

Yuss.