"the lyrics kept going, you know"

9 months later, i remember everything like a dream - like something that i didnt actually experience, just something that happened in my head.

but i know that i did, in fact, experience it as i watch a video of a worship leader yelling for teenagers to stop their jumping in confusion, followed by bodies dissapearing into black, because my heart pounds harder with each drum beat of the worship leader's song.

"It was like a pile of wreckage, bodies laying everywhere, people running and scattering," he said. "And then there was rescue people down there trying to rescue people from under the rigging and the pews."
Rob Neiman

and thats what it was. past the video, and for hours afterwards, it was a pile of bodies, people running, rescue, tears, violent shaking, blood-covered arms, legs, faces, and the frantic wails of sirens.

and more beauty in the broken than i have ever experienced in my life. more prayer, more raw faith, more encouragement, and more love than i have ever seen and felt.

i wrote a long thank-you letter of sorts after i had worked through most of it. i meant to put it up.. and then forgot i was going to do that, until the other day when my sister used one of the news articles about it in an english project.