well. wow. im not even sure where to start.
i just got home from a fantastic weekend (whatever) at qwanoes..
it was great in that it was such sweet reunion, there was so much further bonding, that it felt like nothing had changed since summer.
we were all crammed in a room again - all 11 of us (the twins/ maggie came at 2am and pulled in some mattresses and slept on the floor) and we had great conversation and great fits of laughter.
i let go of any anxiety when i got onto the skyridge porch with michelle and ana and we stood there hugging and laughing for at least 20 minutes in the freezing cold.
it was also great in that it was such a huge reminder of what i am living for. that regardless of how wearing being in the world is, it has no power over me. and that there are people to whom loving comes naturally and it is something they strive for because they love the Savior.
it was hard to hear a lot of what sid said, but it was good. it was all comforting and convicting and challenging. (i was not extremely stoked or something when i found out sid was speaking because i felt like his talks at YC were good, but.. so general? a bit watered down? i thought he was entertaining i think... maybe i was just too tired to pay enough attention. and my head was pretty full and my heart was pretty heavy as YC hit, so that might have been part of it. but what he talked about the last few days hit home in so so many ways.)
i didnt know what to expect much. but it was so great.
and now, i am going back to the grind. away from the huge community of qwanoes, but i am fearless.
i was selfish to feel hopeless. i have been and am working at leaving that with Jesus.
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